When Mom developed memory problems more than a decade ago, we knew, as caregivers, we were in for difficult years ahead.
Mom transitioned through her Alzheimer’s Disease as many do. Changes in her demeanor, strange behaviors, advancing loss of memory and capabilities. Our experience with her decline was no more or less heartbreaking than anyone else’s. Friends and acquaintances who have suffered Alzheimer’s or dementia with their loved ones would nod their heads, or provide a hug, knowing and understanding. It’s like a fraternity that no one wants to join.
Mom died two weeks ago. We grieve our loss, of course. But we are also relieved, and make no excuses for our relief. Her hell-on-earth has come to an end.
I don’t share this with you today to be maudlin. In fact, just the opposite. I share this with you so you can appreciate one of the best gifts Mom ever gave us, which became more important than we could have imagined during her final days and hours.
The gift? Twenty years ago, Mom signed a Do Not Resuscitate order. A DNR is an “advance directive.” That is, a document that states that if she ever suffered a life-ending event, no extraordinary effort should be made to keep her alive. Mom loved us so much that she provided us with peace-of-mind for her final days and hours.
Two weeks before Mom died, she suffered a heart attack. Her DNR left no questions about what to do. True to her wishes, she was kept comfortable until she passed away very peacefully.
You can give this same gift to your loved ones. It’s actually fairly simple. No matter whether you do or don’t want to be kept alive, your state provides legal documents for you to use to designate your end-of-life wishes. The paperwork requires only two other signatures. No attorney is necessary. And if you change your mind later, you simply sign new paperwork to reflect your change of heart.
Once the paperwork is signed, be sure you tell your loved ones and caregiver about your wishes, and tell them where to find your signed documents.
Holidays mean family gatherings. There’s no better time to designate and share your end-of-life wishes. Find the forms and background information you need at http://bit.ly/advdirectives. It’s a gift that will cost you some thought and some time, and will last even beyond your lifetime. This is especially important if you are the caregiver.
If you are a caregiver for an aging parent in town or long distance and are overwhelmed with navigating the complex healthcare system, ReAssured Advocacy can help. Call us today at 303-756-8436.
Reprinted with permission from Trisha Torrey, Every Patient’s Advocate: www.EveryPatientsAdvocate.com
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